Wedding Night Bliss: October 2012

Monday, October 22, 2012

Guilt and Shame?!?! But You're a Virgin! (Why I Created Wedding Night Bliss)



Driana@WeddingNightBliss.com
I have lived my life as a goody-goody, complete with waiting until I was married to have sex. Crazy, right! Some people would consider it to be a boring life, but fortunately for me, my life as the little goody-goody, virgin gal turned out quite well. Sign up for my email list, if you're a goody-goody, virgin gal who's about to get married! (I’d like to take this time to apologize to my Mom and Dad for the next sentence. More so, to my Dad. lol) Even though I was a virgin bride, me and hubs’ sex has always been pretty hot! And it still is, even after baby! Now, for all the Christians that are reading this, I know what you’re thinking. “Of course, you have a blessed sex life. You did it the right way, and God will always bless that!” I agree that God blesses marriage and the marital bed, but most of the time that blessing doesn’t come in the form of sex tips! As a matter of fact, most of the time there are some major sex problems when goody-goody, virgin gals finally make it to the altar. Before you clench your pearls, and scream, “Do not blaspheme abstinence!” let me explain myself. 

When you’re getting married, there is one split second in which your whole life changes. You’re standing at the altar, in front of your friends, family, and God. At the prompting of the pastor you say those 2 little words, “I do!” and in that very instant, like a crazy magic trick, Presto Change-o!, you’re a wife! And remember two seconds ago, when you weren’t allowed to have sex? Well now you are! So hop to it! Sounds exciting and perfect, right? Not always.

Let me help some of you out. The path of abstinence is a very unique experience. It’s one of the hardest things you’ll ever have to do. That’s why it’s not a very popular choice. Because it’s really hard!!! Especially, in this day and age, when fast food restaurants use hot girls to sell chicken sandwiches. (I’m not gonna lie. Those chicks know how to eat some chicken! But is it really necessary?) Abstinence is especially difficult when you’re in a loving relationship, and even more difficult when you’re getting married soon.  So, in this sexually saturated society, one of the ways people are successful in being abstinent is by avoiding anything sexual, at all costs. In fact, it is often encouraged to completely suppress all parts of your sexuality. It may sound extreme, but sometimes if you let a little sexy out, ALL the sexy suddenly comes rushing out. Some couples decide to not even kiss in order to keep the flood gates from opening. Other couples stay busy with multiple activities. Bike riding, hiking, pottery class, basket weaving… ANYTHING to mask their sexual desire. Haha! All this may do the job of helping you avoid having sex, but once you’re actually married, it can actually have an adverse effect. For more information on how to prepare for marriage, whether you're single or engaged, follow me on my FacebookTwitter, and YouTube pages. When you do, PLEASE make sure to say hi! I love to chit chat and get to know my followers!

Even when you’re doing everything in your power to avoid any feelings of sexuality, your body will inevitably betray you. You know those times when that good night kiss lingers a little (ok, a lot) too long. Or when that “innocent” hug turns into, what the classy folks like to call, necking. Or *insert whatever you did/are doing that you think might be pushing the envelope a bit*. Then for the goody-goodies of the world, the guilt. Yes, the guilt. Now fast forward to after you’re married. You think because God says it’s ok to have sex you can just do it. Simple as that! Well, your brain is already programmed to shut out all sexuality. And it’s trained to feel guilt whenever you feel sexy or sexual. Before your wedding day, every time you’ve started getting aroused you shut it down to the ground! (Remember all those basket weaving classes?) It takes some time for your brain to recognize that you’re allowed to have sex. Your brain still thinks that sexy feelings equal guilt. Yes, the guilt. The results of this can be down right ugly. I’m talking crying during or after sex, feeling trashy, or avoiding sex all together. And this happens even though you intellectually know you shouldn’t be feeling this way. This will wreak havoc on a marriage if not addressed. For some, the feelings subside naturally. But for others, it’s an on going struggle that can have horrible consequences for the marriage, often times, divorce. You think I’m exaggerating, right? Unfortunately, I’m not. The sad part is that it’s so very common, but no one is talking about it! (Except for me!) Read on, to Part 2! Email me at Driana@WeddingNightBliss.com to tell me about your Wedding Night or Married Sex stories. (Good or bad)

Click here for Part 2, entitled, "So, How Does This Sex Thing Work, Anyway?"



Buy my eBook, The Wedding Night Survival Guide for under $10, for the basics of what you need to know to have a blissful Wedding Night. 
Get your FREE Men's Wedding Night Survival Guide by signing up to be on my email list for engaged and married women, here.
Click here to be on my email list for Abstinent Women/Christian Singles/Christian Dating, and Mommies who want their teenage daughters to remain Abstinent.


Driana, The Blissful Wife

**If you're a Christian single or in a Christian dating relationship, striving for abstinence until marriage, please sign up for my email list. Only 4% of adults are abstinent. That means that you probably won't make it! You have to do something more than just going to church every Sunday to make it to the altar a virgin or abstinent. I made it, and I want to help you!**


**If you're part of a Christian couple practicing abstinence, and starting to plan your Christian wedding, sign up for my email list. I know you're looking for premarital counseling, but don't forget about guidance for your wedding night and married sex life. I'm sure as a Virgin Bride or Abstinent Bride you're nervous about your wedding night. I can give you the information you need to have the most blissful wedding night and transition into married sex possible.**

**If you're a mom and want help making sure your teenager continues practicing abstinence until marriage, sign up for my email list.**





If you’re a Christian couple practicing abstinence until your wedding night you’ve come to the right place. When it’s time to prepare for your Christian wedding and you look for premarital counseling, don’t forget to look for guidance and advice for your wedding night and transition into married sex. A Christian couple who practices abstinence until their wedding night is doing a great thing. And when the time comes for their Christian wedding, most look for premarital counseling, but forget about help for their wedding night and transition into married sex. So if you’re a Christian couple practicing abstinence until your wedding night, keep this in mind. When you get engaged and prepare for your Christian wedding, it’s very important to look for premarital counseling, as well as, help for your wedding night and transition into married sex. So remember! A Christian couple practicing abstinence until their wedding night has a lot to consider once they start planning their Christian wedding. Not only do they have to find premarital counseling, they have to find advice and guidance for their wedding night and their transition into married sex.